Friday Five: March 29th



Okay, how sad is this: there aren’t five things that rocked my week hard enough for me to write about them.

Yeah.  It was sad.

I’m saving the two pretty damn awesome things that DID enter my life this week for next week’s Friday Five, so we don’t risk this happening again, but I have a twist for this week and it calls for audience participation!  So I guess that’s a win, in a weird way.

Welcome, then, to the Inverse Friday Five– five things that kept me puzzled this week (or ever) as far as the food community is concerned.  These are five Real Big Trends in the food world right now that I..have just completely missed the ‘why’ of, and I’m hoping that in posting them I can get some sweet and gentle reader to explain their mystique to me.

Or something?

Let’s count ’em down!

1. Matcha powder

from Tumblr.

When I was in high school I hosted a Japanese exchange student (shoutout to Keiko!) and she made us green tea from matcha powder.  This is coming from somebody who likes green tea, but I have to tell you that it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever had the misfortune to drink.  Blech.  I can’t– it was just not good.

We still have the rest of the matcha powder sitting in a cabinet somewhere, should anyone decide they want to repeat that unfortunate experience (unlikely, we all had the same reaction) but the fact that I keep seeing recipes with matcha powder everywhere got me thinking about it.  What’s the fascination?  It’s a pretty color, but so is gasoline. And I still don’t want to drink it.  Or put it in my cookies.  Or my anything.

2. Artisan salt

from the great Google, origi. Sur La Table.

The first time I saw the words ‘artisan salt’ in a blog post, I honestly sat their reading the same line about twenty times to make sure I wasn’t crazy.  It’s salt.  There is no need to get fancy with it.

3. Chia seeds

from Tumblr.

Chias are a pet, thanks.  What do chia seeds even do?  Because I”m really lost on this one.

4. Taking Pictures of your Oatmeal/Other Healthy Breakfast Product

Case in point: this was tagged ‘yum’. I..what?

More of a foodie trend rather than a food trend, but bear with me.  And bear with the fact that I’ve done this once or twice- but I did it for photochallenges.  I.E. when the prompt was “chip”, I snapped my cottage cheese because I negate the health value of cottage cheese daily by adding chocolate chips.  And then I tagged it for the photochallenge!  I didn’t tag it foodporn.  Because that’s not foodporn.  Breakfast foodporn is a stack of waffles layered with bacon, with a mini ice-cream-scoop of butter and like six tablespoons of syrup on top.

Not your quinoa porridge.  Your quinoa porridge doesn’t have nearly enough bourbon maple syrup on it.

5. Smoothies as Vegetable Replacements

from Tumblr.

I’m not attacking smoothies, here, just to be clear!  Smoothies are in general delicious and wonderful and if they get people to eat (drink?) more fruits and vegetables then I’m all for them.  This is actually more of a rage against the guys I work with and people like them.

The guys I work with talk about Being Healthy and ways you can protect your body against crazy shit.  Mostly this boils down to Jason talking about how much of this shit he takes in a day, but the other day they were talking about how you can cram a bunch of healthy shit into a smoothie and it’s wonderful.

Which is true.  On both counts.

What makes me want to smash my head against a wall is that I have seen these boys eat.  They live on fast food and soda and energy drinks, so drinking a smoothie isn’t really going to hurt them– but it’s completely negated by the rest of the shit they subject their bodies to.  I just want to jump up and shout “if you just ate even a little bit better–” but I don’t, because I know they won’t listen to me.

Sigh.  Sorry that last one became a rant.

Anyway.  Anyone care to drop in and explain these guys to me?  I’d love to hear feedback, especially on the less ranty items (again, sorry!).

Stay tuned next week for actual favorites– and then in upcoming weeks, I’ll go through five food trends I’m pretty stoked about for this year!

Postscript: RIP, Richard Griffiths.  


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